Desperate Prayers Answered

A little over a year ago, I was in a dark place with my mood and mental health. I was at a low and having passive suicidal thoughts. (Thoughts wishing for death but no plan to act on them. I wished I would die in my sleep or a severe car crash. I just don't have it in me to do that to my family.) My cousin Heather relayed to me how her Christian faith helped her out of a dark period of her mental health. She suggested I read "Case for Christ." There were many hour-long drives home where I was on BluTooth with Heather, praying for God to intercede in my life. And many times, I was in absolute tears. On many drives home, I'd sob and just think, "God, please help me."

I went into an outpatient mental health program for a week and a half, feeling I really needed the help. Right around the time I started the program, my mood had a sudden upward shift. I felt OK for the first time in a while. I started on a new medication and continued to work with my psychiatrist. She was able to arrange for me to receive TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) paid for by the VA. For about 2.5 mos, I got up extra early and went in to have magnetic waves sent into my brain. The new med and TMS worked, but I really think that God had a hand in all this. When my mood turned around, my doctor was afraid my mood was "cycling". But it hasn't dipped back. While I was hoping to greatly reduce the psych meds I was on, that didn't happen.

However, my mood has been the most stable and most positive it has ever been in my life. It's been about a year, and I haven't had a single depressive episode in that time! For someone with Major Depressive Disorder, this is Huge. I've always trusted science and good doctors.

But I really think God had a hand in turning my mood around, bringing me to the treatments that would help me best. It was also a year ago in October that I just happened to see your "Christianity for Atheists" banner on the way to Orlando. I think God might have had a hand in that, too. You've been a huge blessing and benefit to my life, and I regularly thank God for you. Thank you also for the church app and recording services. I'm able to continue watching you from all the way in Natchez, MS, especially since I'm still working on Sundays.

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